由 jpichiban 
在上海，许多退休人士面临着孤独和寻找爱情的挑战。每周周末，离婚或丧偶的居民会聚集在人民公园的相亲角，希望能找到伴侣。他们穿着比平时更正式的衣服，谈论自己的优点、过去的生活和未来。而每周二，他们则会前往宜家餐厅寻找消遣，在那里唱歌跳舞，聊起童年往事。尽管很多人表示不抱希望，但他们仍然渴望爱情，希望找到可以相伴一生的伴侣。这些聚会不仅是寻找爱情的机会，也是他们社交活动的一部分。中国人口老龄化趋势越来越明显，老年人寻求爱情的需求也在不断增长，各种线下和线上平台也应运而生。
Original Title: 滬式「黃昏戀」：在人民公園和宜家餐廳尋找愛情
Summary: For lonely retired people in Shanghai, finding love is a challenge. Every weekend, these divorced or widowed residents gather at the matchmaking corner of People’s Park, looking for opportunities to chat. Every Tuesday, they head to an IKEA restaurant for recreation. They dress up a bit more than usual, ready to talk about their strengths, past lives, and future plans. “I’m a simple person. I don’t smoke, and I don’t play mahjong,” said Xu Xiaoduo (sound), a 70-year-old former elementary school teacher who has been divorced twice. He spoke proactively about his monthly pension of 9,000 yuan and his dancing skills, which he said were “very good”. He sighed and added, “I can’t find true love.” Others shared his frustration, but their desire for love was understated. Many said they had given up hope. Love shouldn’t be so hard. China has a larger population of people aged 65 and older than any other country. Shanghai has a larger senior population than any other city in China. As China has one of the lowest retirement ages in the world, most of these people are no longer working and many are widowed or divorced. They seem to be lonely, with their children and grandchildren busy with their own lives and unable to visit. China’s single senior population will only grow larger. According to the International Monetary Fund, China’s population aged 65 and older is expected to reach 400 million in the next 30 years. As Chinese people live longer and their views on love and marriage change, more and more people are looking for a second or third chance at love. To fill this void, dating shows such as “Fate Comes Late” have emerged. Online, there are chat rooms, matchmaker live streams, and dating apps for single seniors. But nothing can replace social gatherings. Every week, hundreds of seniors return to their old haunts in the park and an IKEA restaurant in the upscale Xuhui district (no one knows why this particular restaurant), hoping to meet their future partner. These gatherings are social events. People bring karaoke machines and speakers to the park to sing and dance. They bring thermoses to the IKEA restaurant, fill them with free coffee, and sit at birch and white plastic tables, reminiscing about their childhoods. There are regulars, like 64-year-old Ma Guoying (sound), who has a warm smile, likes to wear bright clothes, and wears large round glasses. She has spent a lot of time at IKEA and People’s Park in the past few months. Her friend, 66-year-old Zhang Xiaolan (sound), has been coming here for the past 10 years. Neither of them has found a suitable partner. Older men seem to always prefer younger women. But it’s an activity that can fill hours of the day. “If you stay at home 24 hours a day, your brain will degenerate,” said Ma Guoying, who divorced and retired years ago. She said she is lonely at home, and her daughter only calls occasionally, mainly to see if she is okay. The tree-lined People’s Park, located in the heart of Shanghai, has long been a gathering place, first for gamblers, then for student protesters and English learners. Today, it is known for its “marriage market,” where parents come every weekend with unwavering optimism, hoping to find a suitable partner for their unmarried, childless children. They bring resumes listing their children’s height and weight, as well as boasting about their IQ levels, university degrees, and test scores. The park has also naturally become a gathering place for another type of lover: retired and bored people. “Gradually, people felt that if children can find partners, so can parents,” said Liu Qiyu (sound), dressed in a blue velvet tracksuit, wearing a gold watch, chain, and scarf. As elderly men and women began to gather in small groups, Liu Qiyu explained that he was not looking for a partner himself. “I came once or twice, wanting to find a partner, but I didn’t,” he said. Just like the weekend gatherings in the park, the IKEA event on Tuesdays tends to attract people between the ages of 60 and 80 who are looking for love, known in China as “twilight love.” For a few hours in the afternoon, the Swedish furniture retailer takes on the feel of a social club. On the second floor of the store, there is the usual weekday crowd—shoppers navigating the metal stands in the self-service restaurant, picking up their famous meatballs, almond cakes, and lingonberry juice. But more people come here not for Swedish cuisine, some bring their own food, and walk from table to table, pulling chairs to friends and acquaintances. In the brightly lit restrooms on the other side of the hall, women chat among themselves. One is applying lipstick. Online dating is not popular among the men and women here. They have smartphones, or at least the ability to buy smartphones, but most say they don’t want to look for partners online. “I buy everything online,” said 69-year-old Li Zhiming (sound). He wears eyeliner, flared pants, and has styled his black hair with gel. “I think online dating is unreliable.” Li Zhiming said his wife left him and their young son for another country in 1996, at the beginning of China’s reform and opening up. He has been alone ever since. After retiring from his job as an engineer nine years ago, he began planning various activities for his life. He plays cards, dances to Latin music, and sings. “I have a house, a pension, and I’m healthy,” said Li Zhiming. He said he wants to find a “young and beautiful” woman. In exchange, he promises to cook and take care of her. “I’m lonely at home,” he said. 70-year-old Zheng Yue (sound) chooses to sit alone and wait for someone to strike up a conversation. Like many other women here, she doesn’t want to reveal her full identity and instead offers the name she uses on her social media accounts. Zheng Yue’s former husband was a policeman who died from injuries many years ago. She wants to find a man who is “learned, rational, mature, stable, kind, and good.” She also said she wants to find someone who can “hold her hand for life.” She said it takes a lot of effort for women to attend these gatherings. They are often more embarrassed to look for a new partner. “We have the courage to come here on our own and take the first step.”
Original article: https://cn.nytimes.com/china/20240828/china-seniors-dating-shanghai/zh-hant/?utm_source=RSS